There is a blue stain on my left index finger with apparently indelible ink smeared on it. Most of it has come off though there is a ring of dark blue around my nail that refuses to budge, but I will leave it there as a reminder of today. For today, the 5th of May 2013, was a day that the people came together to vote for change in our country Malaysia through our 13th General Election (13GE). Today is also the day that I write about my thoughts about my country and the 13GE on this Little Piece of Happy Heaven because this is important for me and I want to remember this feeling.
I have never been keen on politics, indeed I am ashamed to say that I did not vote in the last election nor bothered to know the names of the ministers and the goings on in parliament and such mainly because I grew up in a my own world one which consisted on a diet of happy ever afters, happiness and trivial things. But over the past few years since the last election, that little world I had so carefully constructed around myself started chipping away and I was confronted with dirty politics, dishonesty, corruption, nepotism and the like. I always thought that my vote wouldn't matter... after all what is one vote. I stand corrected. My one vote does count. My voice does matter.
In the weeks and days leading up to the 13GE, it seemed that more people began to realise that their voice mattered too and this was evident when we saw the masses congregate at rallies and those come out to vote. They started voting at dawn, some came later and stood in the morning sun and then there were those that braved the rain in the afternoon to cast their vote. Then there were some who hunted those phantom voters and who fought for clean elections.
For me, I stood in the park near my childhood home in the sunlight and surrounded by so many of my high school friends and neighbours. All of us came back to 'hood' to cast our vote to be heard and my heart soared just like it did when I attended a gathering by the opposition and heard them speak and saw people of all races and religions and educational background come together sharing umbrellas in the evening rain and all eager to see change happen. "Inikalilah!" "Ubah". This is the time! Change!
And now hours after voting, many Malaysians sit glued to their tvs, ipads, phones and computers getting live feed of the fate of our nation. Sadly, the opposition doesn't seem to be having a lead though there are many seats that have been won and defended. I can't help but feel sick when I read about the phantom voters, the strange ballot boxes that appeared from Heaven only knows where, and the sinking realisation that we may very well be stuck with a government that we do not want.
My heart is heavy as are the hearts of so many in our city and surrounding areas. The final figures have yet to be tallied and I have yet to switch on the telly for the latest updates but whatever it is, we have changed our profile and cover pictures to black because it is black night for us - blackout!
Yet in the midst of our sorrow over what I feel is the lost of our country {and I can feel the sorrow of the opposition and volunteers who worked so hard}, I choose to believe that God has a plan for all of us, for our dear country Malaysia regardless of who wins. Indeed He has opened my eyes to see the unity that can and HAS happened when we believe in a cause and stand up together. Let us all try our best not to loose heart over what has happened but to see how best we can help in shaping our nation. Out of despair will rise a new people, new voices, new visions. We are hungry for justice, we are hungry for fairness and transparency, we are hungry for a true 1 Malaysia.
Merdeka for our country? I don't think Malaysian's truly understand what it is like to be free. Perhaps one day we will all know what it truly means and will be able to taste that sweetness of a true Merdeka, a true Independence, true freedom.
